road block

time has passed so very quickly. even the last 8 and some years seem to have sped by us. not a moment taken for granted. in my infamous words, 'so here we are'. i've been on the net looking up and reading countless websites regarding animal euthanasia. page after page, from one site to another... they all say the same thing, essentially, not getting me anywhere. i guess i am looking to put an end to a question only i know the answer to. its pretty obvious i don't want to know the answer but i have to face it. denial is a bitch, with flashing neon lights all pointing at you when you're trying to quietly slip into the darkness. i have to do what needs to be done but i'm a coward. i can't bring myself to bite the bullet. so, she just sits around the house and suffers... painfully and silently, in her world without vocabulary. i wish i wasn't here, i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i wish i wish.