my cup of kopi

it was a day like any other... or so it seemed. we went cruising on a hot summers day, trying to escape the heat. curiosity got the better of us from a sign sitting on the highway. we pulled in to investigate. i walked in and on sight, fell in love with you, i had to have you and she made sure i did. there were four of you sitting in a play pen. i stepped in and you came like a freight train, straight at me the minute i got down to the floor. remember when we first brought you home? i ditched driving so i could sit with you and get to know you better, i just couldn't wait. you weren't all that big and you didn't seem all that bright either. you had this goofy look and hopped around clumsily bumping into things. aside from all that, you didn't seem to mind being away from your brothers and sisters and you were so gung ho! caught up in your new home, charging into everything. you had that great smell that only liddle ones have. it didn't take very long for you to meet he carpet, the carpet remembered the encounter for a long time. after bout two hours or more of exploring and goofing round the house, you settled down for an afternoon ciesta. you weren't very picky bout your spot but i had to make it my business for you to enjoy my sweaty pits, which i might add, you did so quite well. you had found your spot and i, unconditional love. it was the beginning of what many would refer to as "the start of a beautiful relationship". a friendship that would cement many years of good times and anxious moments. you never acted like your own kind but that was probably my fault. you've never asked for very much and made conversation so easy. all you ever wanted was my time and i gave it as best i could. everytime i went out, you'd come along. walks, drives, work, partying, shopping, you never left my side nor strayed from my heart. i am your bad smell which you follow around religiously. the smallest and simplest things. whenever i was on the comp, there you'd be, at my feet, keeping vigil. i saw you through motherhood and you saw me through the worst times of my life. so here we are once again... at life altering crossroads. it continues to unfold, brutal scenes, with my eyes wide shut. its breaking my heart but its not your fault. i know you're trying sweetheart and i'm not going to give up, i refuse to. you need me as much as i need you. i just wished there was more i could do. if the tables were flipped violently and turned, i know you'd give your life for mine. but, what fun would mine be without you around. you're still flopped on the floor but not so gung ho anymore, i know you want to run to me but you can't see. i wish there was more that i could do for you but as always all you want is just my company and my bad smell. my worst fears, nightmares, no longer in my dreamtime but breathing to life, infront of my very eyes. i'm awake but the nightmare instills a feeling of total and utter helplessness. its an agonising pain i can't turn or runaway from. so very torturous. i'm still here for you and i'll be here to the bitter end.