a bitter fucking after taste......

have you ever had one of those dreams where you dreamt someone died and you cried about it in your sleep and when you woke up, you continued to cry even harder... because you realised it was only a dream.
some dreams can leave you with a bitter after taste... i live it. some people come into your life and they seem too good to be true. there's reason for that. nobody is that unselfish. love is never unconditional. everything has a price, only difference is you don't really know your tab till its closing time and the lights come on. everything becomes all too clear. every hidden agenda surfaces and raises its ugly head. in the light, you see people for who they are. in darkness, you deny every single notion that points you towards a failed integrity. we are but human and with that comes the fallible ambiguities of one's character. i thought i had progressed in life, building bridges and over coming others' short ones buti guess i was wrong. the restoration of my belief in the human race was a very brief, but with no uncertainty, a visade that was, as it should be, short lived. my misconceptions now retribute a price which is steep and without grief. so that is my bitter pill and i will swallow it.